If I was ever hired to develop a new cologne, I think that I would call it 'Kindergarten Cop For Men'. It would possess all of the raw masculinity of a police lieutenant but still give off an aroma of childlike innocence that would promote growth and learning for everyone involved.
I've been working on the formula for years now:
3 cups of distilled rain water
2 tbsp. of fermented urine
1/8 cup of crushed honey graham crackers
a liberal amount of colored pencil shavings
3 minute drops of pure ammonia (bleach may be substituted)
*Once mixed, these ingredients must be ceremonially sworn in by an active officer of law enforcement.
Ahh, I can see it now...a Friday night out to your favorite five star restaurant will no longer be complete without this wonderful new fragrance.